What Is WRONG With You?!?!?!?!

Recently it seems like my life is aswarm with Las Vegas boys. And I say "boys" on purpose. I am quickly becoming fed up with the male persuasion in this city. Who in the hell do you think you are, really??

Let me digress, and disect a few of these shit-heels for you, readers, and maybe you can make some sense of it all....

There's Sean, who after a week of knowing me, decided he was in love and wanted to move in. I'm assuming he really just needed a place to stay, but who am I to judge? Anyway, the saga continued with him about a week and a half ago. He texted me in the middle of the night, telling me he has chlamydia and that I gave it to him. He's certain. He hasn't been tested, but is going in the next day. He has all the symptoms, and I'm the only person he's slept with since August, so I definitely gave it to him. I freak out, go get tested for EVERYTHING, and pay a million dollars for it, and come up completely CLEAN. Now, why would someone lie about a thing like that?? He turned my life upside-down for no reason, so to return the favor, I told him he has a little penis. I feel better.

Most recently, we have Anthony, pronounced Ant-ony, who is a guy I met at a Reggae club. Sweet guy, good kisser, a little short, but when you're drunk, does that matter? He's been texting and calling me several times a day for over a week, trying to get me to come out and see him, go to lunch with him, invite him over for who-knows-what. Well, I know what. Come to find out, he has a pregnant girlfriend, and.....a wife. Now, what the fuck does he want with me??? Jesus!

We also have another Shawn, from a few months ago. Met him on New Year's. He has a girlfriend too, come to find out. And when I told him I have a new hobby of creating websites for myself and others, he wanted a piece of me, wouldn't leave me alone. I didn't give him any, but he persists still. Now he wants me to make him a porn site. Really?

There's a whole gaggle of old men that want in on the Julie action as well. Now, I've dated men much older than me in the past, but not grandpa age, for crissake. What would they do with me if they had me anyway?? And don't they think for a MINUTE, that someone my age might actually want to settle down and get married, have kids, lead a normal life?? How am I gonna do that with a 60+ year old man??

Then there's who we call A.J. He pops in and out of my space, "wanting more" this time. Wanting to "do it right". Then disappears again, as quickly as he arrived, making me wonder if I'M crazy, or dellusional, or both. Playing. Playing with my mind, my heart, my hopes. It's all a game. We are in Las Vegas, after all.

There are big guys, little guys, married and engaged guys, young guys, old guys, crazy guys, boring guys, gamblers, tight-wads, angry ones, sad ones, confused ones. But there's never the right guy. Not here.

I'm over it.