Will You Mind?

For several years now, I have felt like I'm "ready for love". But am I? What it means to me is that I'd be ready for a relationship, likely a live-in one, as that's kinda the point, right? To live with someone and procreate, meld lives, inspire each other, make each other toast and coffee?

But I find myself in a scaredy-cat frenzy whenever I imagine someone else, the person I may end up with, in my space. In my home. In my everything. I am staunchly independent, to a fault I think. I freak out at the idea that I may have to close the door when I go to the bathroom, that hanging out in my pajamas all day might not be in my future anymore. My anxiety peaks when I imagine this fabled lover finding out all my faults, finding out I smoke in my bedroom, I cry for stupid reasons, I need people more than I'd like to admit, and I blow my nose a lot lately.

So, to this possible future soulmate, partner, lover, friend, husband....I ask you this....

Will you mind if I get a little drunk and act like an ass?
Will you mind if I beat you at most board games?
Will you mind if I want and/or expect random flowers on random days?
Will you mind if I cry over Steel Magnolias, even though I've seen it a hundred times?
Will you stand your ground when we fight, because I like to fight sometimes?
Will you back me up even when you know I'm wrong, if it's going to work out anyway?
Will you laugh with me until we both snort and roll on the ground?
Will you mind if I don't shave my legs every day?
Will you hold my hand just because?
Will you inspire me to accomplish my dreams, even if they seem silly to you?
Will you mind if I don't look so pretty when I wake up?
Will you mind if I play poker sometimes for 12 hours?
Will you mind if I want to show you off?
Will you mind if I want to cook, and clean, and go all June Cleaver on your ass?
Will you mind if I want to make you my everything, when I'm in the mood?
Will you mind if I need you to go away when I'm not?
Will you mind if I feel like having a bad day, and don't want to be cheered up?
Will you mind if I am selfish, rude, and bitchy once in a while?
Will you accept me, in all my craziness?
Will you love me, no matter what?
Will you stay.....forever?
Will you ease my fears, and tell me I'm beautiful and perfect....for you?


Here's the truth...I'm scared. I'm scared that someone will mind at least one of these things, and that it will be a deal-breaker. But more so, I'm scared that someone won't mind any of this....and I'll actually have to commit. Because, for me, it's one and done. And that's a lot to imagine for someone like me.

But will you mind giving me that, and maybe a little more? I promise it'll be worth it. :)